Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
