you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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