You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
