You really coming over, don't trick.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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