I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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