either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Terrible idea I love it
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
