she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
this boner is exhausting
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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