i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
