haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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