I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
