you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I am midnight drunk by noon
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
