Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
In America we eat man semen.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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