I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I got inside last night via doggy door
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
