So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
