your parents love me but you hate me
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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