oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I didn't shave. On purpose
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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