ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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