i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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