Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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