Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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