I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
