Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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