my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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