Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
