Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
