the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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