One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
