We're like a lot better than the average bears
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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