508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
