I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
