Your tits are I can't wait for
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
