so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
