Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
