who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This is my gift to your gina
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
