i would punch a child for taco bell
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We got so high we made milksteak
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
