I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
