OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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