Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
