Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
