Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
