So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
