Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
