I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
