Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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