I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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