I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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