Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
