Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
