wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
