you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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