Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
