My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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